Art and commentary by Kimberly Harris

Posts tagged ‘Ted Cruz’

Chasin’ the Trump Plane on a Wing and a Prayer

Ted Cruz is chasing The Donald who is flying an antique airplane

Aspiring high flyers, heed this sage advice: “Keep thy wings level and maintain thine airspeed lest the ground rise up and smite thee mightily.”

 
Flyin’ Ted beats his wings hard to catch up to The Donald’s Juggernaut

After campaigning out West in the delegate-rich states of California, Washington and Oregon, Donald Trump decided to forgo his private Boeing 757 jet and make a dramatic entrance at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland by landing a World War II vintage Ryan PT-22 trainer in the parking lot of the Quicken Loans Arena. As Trump homes in on Cleveland, Flyin’ Ted is cruzin’ hard and shedding feathers in his wake as he tries to catch up to The Donald and his pilot, Captain Eddie. Flyin’ Ted’s last hope is to collect enough delegates before July to feather his nest at what he believes could be a contested convention that could score him the nomination.

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“He was not bone and feather but a perfect idea of freedom and flight, limited by nothing at all”
― Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

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N.B. For you aviation buffs out there, the airplane is a Ryan PT-22 “Recruit” which was used as a trainer by the United States Army Air Forces during World War II. A civilian version of the PT-22, a Ryan Aeronautical ST3KR, was in the news in March 2015 when actor Harrison Ford experienced an engine failure after departing from Santa Monica airport. He was forced to crash-land on a nearby golf course where he sustained serious injuries.

Illustration by Kim Harris
Story by Don Rudisuhle

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Santa’s New Helper, The Trumpus

The Trumpus carts away a load of candidates in a basket and a sled

The Trumpus spirits away a load of naughty office-seekers to be whipped in his underground lair deep inside the elegant and exclusive Trumpus Tunnel and Casino deep beneath Atlantic City.

In Germany, Austria and Italy, Santa and Krampus have been in a partnership since time immemorial. Their special compact specifies that Santa will reward the good children and Krampus, a part-demon, part-goat creature, has the responsibility of punishing the bad ones. This way, Santa does not tarnish his public image as a kind, jovial old fellow loved by all.

In the United States, the worst a naughty child can expect from Santa is a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking. However, in Europe, the fate of misbehaving children is far grimmer. Santa doesn’t bother with them. After leaving presents for the good kids, he instructs Krampus to collect the naughty ones and stuff them in his basket to be taken away to be whipped with switches made of birch twigs, or worse, to be devoured altogether.

Due to the alarming increase in naughtiness and bad behavior on the part of adults around the world, Santa decided to add a new position to his holiday workforce. His longstanding sidekick Krampus will now be getting some much-needed assistance from Trumpus, a new hire from America.

Over the last few months, Santa had deployed a number of his best Elves on a Shelf to infiltrate the homes of prominent candidates and observe their behavior. When the elves reported back with their findings, Santa was horrified by what he heard, especially regarding the appalling exchange of insults and accusations between the candidates. Santa instructed Trumpus to mete out deserving punishment to them. The wily Trumpus lured them all in under the pretense of a sleigh ride to a political rally where wealthy donors would be present. But before they knew it, they were collected into a basket and swiftly consigned to a dungeon in Trumpus’ subterranean lair in the elegant and exclusive Trumpus Tunnel and Casino beneath Atlantic City where they soon realized that all the slot machines are rigged, the hors d’oeuvres are stale and none of the drinks are free.

Illustration by Kim Harris
Story by Don Rudisuhle

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