Happy Groundhog Day, everybody!
Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category
Well, the Christmas season is upon us and with it comes the snow, the chilling temperatures, the aroma of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, family gatherings, and, of course, the carolers who stroll through the neighborhoods spreading cheer with their harmonious melodies.
As the protest season ratcheted down, a group of paid professional protesters saw their incomes waning and decided to pick up some extra cash by celebrating their year’s achievements in song.
On the 12th day of Christmas
The newsman sent to me:
12 mobs gathering
11 gassed protesters
10 bros a stoning
9 speeches shut down
8 cops a chasing
7 dudes arrested
6 tires burning
5 stores looted
4 windows smashed
3 streets blocked
2 cars on fire
And riots on the nightly news
The troupe apologizes for their slightly muffled voices but hope you might drop a little something in the can anyway. If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’ penny will do.
These darling children had the best costumes ever, so extra treats were provided all around! They did seem a bit odd, however.
This illustration is from Day 31 and the final day of Mabs Drawlloween October Daily Art Challenge on Instagram. Today was a Halloween tribute to the fabulous Tim Burton.
Mummy really loved her morning coffee. Her favorite brand was Premium Bat Blend No.2 Arabica from Anubis Coffee and Tea Estates. She always used two scoops per cup and it was strong enough to raise the dead.
Nosferatu was a lonely single man who felt he needed to fill a void in his life. Bela was an abandoned bloodhound-mix whose owner just happened to have been a recent victim of a mysterious case of exsanguination. They found each other at a local Transylvanian animal shelter and were a perfect match.
Most of Joe’s adult life was spent working as a carny in charge of the whirling teacups. After he passed, in accordance with his last wishes, he was laid to rest in a sarcophagus of his own choosing in a now abandoned amusement park.
This illustration is from Day 23 of my contributions to Mabs Drawlloween Daily Art Challenge on Instagram. The prompt was “Coffin.”
Poor Junior. No one told him what was in the pie. Oh, the humanity!
This illustration is from Day 18 of my contributions to Mabs Drawlloween Daily Art Challenge on Instagram. The prompt was titled “Dumbest Pumpkin.”
Post-zombie apocalypse, the “Zombie Gnomes of Zurich” will no longer accept sterling and gold for deposit. Only brains, intestines and assorted viscera will be accepted.
Two zombie gnomes processing bank deposits of body parts and viscera.
In Germany, Austria and Italy, Santa and Krampus have been in a partnership since time immemorial. Their special compact specifies that Santa will reward the good children and Krampus, a part-demon, part-goat creature, has the responsibility of punishing the bad ones. This way, Santa does not tarnish his public image as a kind, jovial old fellow loved by all.
In the United States, the worst a naughty child can expect from Santa is a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking. However, in Europe, the fate of misbehaving children is far grimmer. Santa doesn’t bother with them. After leaving presents for the good kids, he instructs Krampus to collect the naughty ones and stuff them in his basket to be taken away to be whipped with switches made of birch twigs, or worse, to be devoured altogether.
Due to the alarming increase in naughtiness and bad behavior on the part of adults around the world, Santa decided to add a new position to his holiday workforce. His longstanding sidekick Krampus will now be getting some much-needed assistance from Trumpus, a new hire from America.
Over the last few months, Santa had deployed a number of his best Elves on a Shelf to infiltrate the homes of prominent candidates and observe their behavior. When the elves reported back with their findings, Santa was horrified by what he heard, especially regarding the appalling exchange of insults and accusations between the candidates. Santa instructed Trumpus to mete out deserving punishment to them. The wily Trumpus lured them all in under the pretense of a sleigh ride to a political rally where wealthy donors would be present. But before they knew it, they were collected into a basket and swiftly consigned to a dungeon in Trumpus’ subterranean lair in the elegant and exclusive Trumpus Tunnel and Casino beneath Atlantic City where they soon realized that all the slot machines are rigged, the hors d’oeuvres are stale and none of the drinks are free.
Illustration by Kim Harris
Story by Don Rudisuhle